jeanelle

seriously, pray about things! since last week i've been praying alot more about intimacy with Christ and since then, He's been only taking me deeper. i believe i had one of the closest conversations ever with Him yesterday during 6th period

usually i just go home after 5th because i don't have a 6th, but yesterday i had dance practice so i had an extra hour to spare. i was feeling confused and rather frustrated spiritually over some things and just felt like collapsing in the pub room couch and sleeping. then i get a text from becca, "unfailing love" (why do i have angels for friends?) and...yea. conviction to seek His face. i walked out of D-1 and immediately, felt such an uplifting by the sun's reaching rays. i thought...so this is the way He holds you. i walked to the side of the school where the gate separates school and the grassy area, and leaned on the gate. i thought about the mindset that's been stamped into us. people aren't...still anymore. or alone. they always have to be going from point A to point B, on the phone, having some sort of noise come out of their mouth or into their ears, and doing something "useful." one must be seated behind a computer or a car, a desk or a counter. i thought about how nature's members seem to be just....forgotten parts of the earth that are there simply because you can't remove it. an old tradition. flowers dot the path because it's pretty, identical trees are planted down the street because it is a great complement to the home. obviously we acknowledge nature in the fact that its elements are necessary to our survival...but it stops at that. when was the last time you felt the bark of a tree? what does a lily feel like? are you ever still enough to watch the clouds move? now all we know is radiation, fast stimulation, and artificial lights. stuck inside a building 24/7, quickly walking past nature's canvas into another building. yet i challenge you...step out. and stay. stop the mechanic motion of your life and start writing meaning into its crevices. do you really think that we can find more pleasure in the things that we want, more so than the things that are essential to our living? take a walk outside and just explore and observe, like when you were a kid. maybe that was the beauty of childhood. cause we let things in, and constantly climbed instead of just walking on the same treadmill day after day. break free. it's really one moment of choice, the key to unlocking your chains is in your will.

ok so we're not even at the main point of this entry yet. i thought about that...and as i was looking at a small yellow flower on the ground i just started making conversation with Him. small talk, you know. questions unworthy of the Creator yet all by His grace. i walked through the grass and felt the wind through my hair, the sunshine soft upon my skin. when you are immersed in His original creations...it's hard not to hear His voice and feel His presence. i touched the bark of a tree and looked up, bits of blue sky weaved with rippling leaves. i leaned on that tree, just standing, for a long time. He led the conversation, I listened. I smiled, I laughed even. Laid down on the grass to look up at a spotless sky, hear the wind sing. Walked some more, delighted myself in the flowers that sprouted randomly. Yeah. He's always there...it's just. If we're willing to throw down the distractions that eat us away and follow Him to green pastures.

i'm telling you. Jesus is not a religion, not a condemner, not a rulebook.
He wants a relationship with you, so that you may be filled to the depths of your soul.
So that you might find a joy that does not a fade and a love that outlasts all fire and flood
A God that's up in heaven and likes to throw thunderbolts down at mere creation?
What a contrast.
...He is more humble than what you will ever know. This man washed the feet of sinners, in love
Took lashes for you and i, handed us perfection by giving up His life

and His greatest commandment? Love.

And about church? I don't know about filling pews. I don't know about perfect Sunday clothes and good-girl smiles. I don't know the words to all the songs and all the right verses. I don't know about popularity contests.

But I do know family. I know the Body of Christ, that gathers together in all weather and under any kind of roof, with however many members and all skin colors. I know these people who pray with me and who cry with me and who rejoice with me, fighting beside me for one goal: to bring forth His kingdom. I know these people who know my life beyond the cracked exterior, who don't want to talk surface but instead care about the ugly weeds I try to hide. My sisters and brothers who plant flowers in my soul. My family who I will see in heaven.

Come to the Cross, and truly live



jeanelle, you are simply amazing.
this has really inspired me.
and you really like MY blog?
psh.
haha