spill

you're all i want
you're all i need
you're everything
everything.

cross out the fisheye camera from my christmas list.
i got one today
!

this blog is my "journal" i guess you can say, but if i really want to spill out something.
i take it to my spiral leopard journal thing.
but i feel like spilling tonight.
this might be deleted later though.
maybe.

so this thanksgiving break was a big wake up call.
i feel that me and my family needed this break to bond and get closer.
and i really didn't get to give thanks for what i have.
so.
-im thankful for my lord and savior Jesus Christ.
who am i that the creator of our universe, listens to every one of my prayers, sent his son to die on the cross for me, and forgives me for every sin that i commit?
im nobody.
and yet he still loves me.
isn't that amazing?
there are no words to express how wonderful our God is.
i always get overwhelmed when i really think about His incredible way that he makes everything happen for a reason.
-im thankful for my family.
how in the world did i get to be so lucky with the family i was born into?
im so proud of my brother.
he was getting into some bad things earlier in the year and i found myself constantly worrying about him.
i would pray and pray that he would see what he was doing to the family.
he was always mad and "stressed" and wasn't fun to be around anymore.
but recently, he's been changing.
definitely for the better.
i could see the lord working in him.
really.
i can't tell him how happy i am that he is taking the right path and is beginning to see the Lord.
im so proud of him.
-im thankful for my parents.
so so thankful.
they teach me life lessons, buy me things i don't need, and inspire me to learn more about God each and every day.
i can see the pride in my dad's face when he smiles at my brother now.
its really incredible.
my parents work so hard to keep me and my brothers happy.
sometimes i forget just how hard they work to keep food on our table.
-im thankful for my little brother.
i love him so so much.
i know the Lord made him the way he is for a reason.
and im thankful that he has taught me patience, acceptance and how to be "carefree"
sometimes i wonder how he would act and look if he was born like the rest of us and i feel a little sad because tommy will probably never get married or have children.
he may not ever get his own house.
and since people with down syndrome are prone to get alzheimer's at an early age, im afraid that could happen.
but i can't mope around wishing things were a certain way.
i love my brother.
and i know he was put in my life for a reason.
and i thank the Lord for that.
-im thankful for my friends.
my best friends have always been there for me.
through the good times and the bad.
seriously.
and im so so thankful that gave me these people to grow up with and have a permanent impact on my heart.
-im thankful for my ability to dance.
some people don't find their passion in life until they're older.
im so incredibly lucky that i found my passion in life at 12 years old.
dance has seriously been my life for the past 5 years.
i thank god that i haven't had any serious injuries in my dancing career.
the bruises will go away.
i pray that i can use my dancing as a ministry for the Lord.

i am thankful for so many things in my life.
but those are definitely the top 5.
haha.
school tomorrow.
bleh.